The orgasm that a man and woman experience at the same time is referred to as the sacred sex grail. Or how about the indicator that the partners are ideally suited to each other. Or how about the point of no return, which promises relations of prosperity and harmony. We tell you whether you need a synchronous orgasm and how to achieve it.
We may think of a synchronous orgasm as some kind of absolute or an indicator that the relationship has reached its highest prosperity and development, but some sexologists still doubt whether the synchronous orgasm is overestimated as a phenomenon.
What can be good synchronous orgasm?
You probably remember that during orgasm an incredible amount of hormones is released that make you feel pleasure, joy, happiness, love, gratitude for a partner, saturation and experience many other pleasant emotions.
Hormones such as endorphin, dopamine, oxytocin and serotonin, during sex and orgasm, are secreted not only in women, but also in men. Accordingly, if an orgasm occurs simultaneously in a man and a woman, this contributes to the fact that they simultaneously feel the reaction of their body to the release of hormones. And this, in turn, can contribute to a deeper sense of happiness for both partners which undoubtedly can have a positive effect on the relationship.
But the effect of hormones is only temporary – otherwise, having received an orgasm at least once, we would be in a state of euphoria until the end of our days. Feelings of satisfaction and gratitude can appear and disappear (and depending on the level of various hormones in the blood), but the truly harmonious relationship in a couple is not at all the ability of a man and a woman to reach orgasm at the same time.
Expectation vs. reality
Synchronous orgasm partners often reach in porn movies, feature films, as well as on the pages of novels for adults. However, in real life with orgasms, the situation is a little different. The most realistic scenario of sex between two people is as follows: one of the partners reaches the peak of pleasure first, and then helps the other partner to get his part of the cake. In general, sexologists agree that for harmony in sexual life it is important to combine two modes of functioning: “altruistic”, expressed in caring for a partner and a desire to give him pleasure, and “egoistic”, suggesting focusing attention on himself, his desires and their satisfaction. Simply put, each of the partners should strive not only to get an orgasm, but also to ensure that the partner also received it.
Why is synchronous orgasm not a pattern?
In pursuit of a synchronous orgasm, you need to analyze the entire sexual cycle in order to understand why you and your partner reach a peak at different times. Besides the fact that biological parameters and sensitivity to stimulation of erogenous zones differ from person to person, everyone can pursue different goals while having sex. A scenario in which a man works exclusively in the “egoistic” mode is not uncommon: he is only concerned about his orgasm, and the pleasure of a woman does not play a special role for him.
Consider also the difference between men and women. The path to male orgasm is relatively straightforward, the path to female is a winding path, on which you can never know for sure whether you will come to the goal. Therefore, to make so straight and winding intersected at the point of supreme pleasure, it is much more difficult than to plan a repair. Let us turn to numbers. Being engaged in penetrating sex, a man needs an average of two to five minutes to achieve an orgasm. In the same conditions, a woman needs about ten to fifteen minutes. This difference is due to the fact that the mechanisms of excitation and pleasure in the representatives of different sexes differ from each other. But this does not mean that in same-sex couples the chances of a synchronous orgasm are higher: the fact is that even within each group – men and women – the indicators will differ.
How then to experience an orgasm at the same time with a partner?
Despite the fact that on the way to a synchronous orgasm you can meet a lot of obstacles, it can still be achieved. And if you want to finish with your partner, you can use a few tricks.
For example, if the reason for the lack of synchronous orgasm is that in a pair a woman needs more time than a man, you need to speed up the first and slow down the second. First of all, a quality foreplay will not hurt, which will allow a woman to become as excited as possible, which will make her more susceptible and sensitive to stimulation during sex. Secondly, you won’t be fed up with just one penetration: as you know, only 20% of women are able to experience an orgasm only from penetration, but if you connect the clitoral to vaginal stimulation, the chances of an orgasm increase to 80%. Thirdly, a man can be cooled. If you see and feel that a man is on the verge (you can understand this by rapid breathing, changing facial expressions or accelerating the pace of frictions), ask him to move more slowly or stand still for a while. You can also delay the onset of an orgasm in a man, slightly pulling his scrotum down – do it carefully, do not press and do not pull too hard so as not to cause pain. In order for each partner to approach the synchronous orgasm, you can use special lubricants – cooling and prolonging for the man and stimulating arousal for the woman. You can even use them together. To do this, apply a cooling lubricant on the penis, put a condom on top so that the effect of the lubricant applies only to the man, and at the same time the woman can use warming and stimulating gels.
Not a goal or even a means
Summing up: a synchronous orgasm is rather an exception to the rules than the rule itself. At the same time, it is impossible to say that it is impossible to experience an orgasm with a partner at the same time. However, if this did not happen, given the biological and psychophysical characteristics of each person, it can be said with certainty that harmony in a couple is not in danger. Sex should not turn into a race, at the finish line of which there will be a simultaneous orgasm with a partner, otherwise there is a risk to stop enjoying closeness at all. The purpose of intercourse is pleasure, not synchronicity. But sensual love making, after which everyone was satisfied, is usually enough for us to be happy.